Since junior year of college, I have been occasionally visited by nice little bouts of anxiety brought up, I guess, when things are overwhelming. Things that contribute: constant loud noises, crowded spaces, hospitals, etc. I'm a slightly intelligent person, knowing a little bit about mental health and have no suspicion that this is serious in the least. I don't have panic attacks, I just prefer to get the hell out of the situation. The day before leaving for Malakati I felt this after visiting the local third world hospital and returning to a loud crowded internet cafe in a loud crowded city. This should better give you the context of the following essay, written at Malakati village.
How do you find peace? And how would you know it once you've found it? So many people just go go go. Go through routines, go to starbucks, go to work, go to bed. Go go go. I feel they should stop where they are. Freeze. And reflect. Am I happy? When did I last feel peace? I am one of the few who is usually sincerely happy. However, when did I last feel peace within myself.
I have been to the tops of mountains, the spines of ridges, and the sides of cliffs. I have kayaked rivers, sailed on lakes, and seen lands unmarred by human presence. Even then, peace has been a rare experience.
Here, I have found peace. I feel my heartbeat slow and stress physicall lift from my shoulders. I feel lighter. Malakati village has no cars, no telivision, no video games. For amusement, the children play sports and push around small skis attached to a long bamboo handle. They call these boats. The families live either in thatch huts, called, bures, or small houses constructed of corrugated tin walls and roofs. People here smile and say bula when I walk past. They invite us to tea and readily share their possessions. The front yard in translucent blue water and pure white sand; the back yard is a mountain. I am at peace.
It took me hours to convince myself I am actually here. It is still difficult to believe that I am staying in a village on a small island in the middle of the pacific. I am truly thankful for this place and the welcoming nature of these people.
I feel alive, recharged, rested. I feel peace.
How do you find peace? And how would you know it once you've found it? So many people just go go go. Go through routines, go to starbucks, go to work, go to bed. Go go go. I feel they should stop where they are. Freeze. And reflect. Am I happy? When did I last feel peace? I am one of the few who is usually sincerely happy. However, when did I last feel peace within myself.
I have been to the tops of mountains, the spines of ridges, and the sides of cliffs. I have kayaked rivers, sailed on lakes, and seen lands unmarred by human presence. Even then, peace has been a rare experience.
Here, I have found peace. I feel my heartbeat slow and stress physicall lift from my shoulders. I feel lighter. Malakati village has no cars, no telivision, no video games. For amusement, the children play sports and push around small skis attached to a long bamboo handle. They call these boats. The families live either in thatch huts, called, bures, or small houses constructed of corrugated tin walls and roofs. People here smile and say bula when I walk past. They invite us to tea and readily share their possessions. The front yard in translucent blue water and pure white sand; the back yard is a mountain. I am at peace.
It took me hours to convince myself I am actually here. It is still difficult to believe that I am staying in a village on a small island in the middle of the pacific. I am truly thankful for this place and the welcoming nature of these people.
I feel alive, recharged, rested. I feel peace.
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